Hate myself

I can't believe that he escape and leave me alone to solve the problem...
I feel very upset and I really hate myself...
No more care...no more concern...
I need to face it all by myself...
All is my problem, all is my fault, all is because of my stupid thinking and good imagination..
All is because of my worst personality and sticky to make him can't breath and suffer all the time...
So he escape.. and leave me alone here to face all the problem...
At the beginning, in my mind, I love him so I wish to stick with him all the time,
But now I know it's wrong...It's just will made him can't breath and no freedom at all...
He need space..
I should change, but I need time..I really can't control myself since this is my personality...
I'm sad... I want to change...
Maybe I should learn to be independent, I know I can do this...
I'm a person willing to change for love... I wish I can do this...
Even the process will make me suffer but if i succeed to changed it,
There is our future right there...

In this moment..
I hate myself to made myself suffer...
I hate myself think too much ...
I hate myself have a good imagination...
I hate myself too sticky...
I hate myself too controllable...
I hate myself not enough confidence...
I hate myself can't independent...
I hate myself not sporty...
I hate myself too sensitive...
and...
I hate myself used to him... =(

What a bad night !!!